he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
