PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize