I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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