What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
