I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
