pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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