I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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