she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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