I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
