if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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