That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
