I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i drank out of a bidet.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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