And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All I want is dick and wine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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