oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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