Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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