does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
