Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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