I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
