Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize