You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
