doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
