I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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