So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
