just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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