do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
