I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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