what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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