I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no, he came in my armpit
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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