I'm eating all of the evidence.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
