i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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