I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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