i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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