When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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