sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
