so explain again why im purple
no
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
