she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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