I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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