so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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