I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
vagina is talking i cant
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
