so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
