Swine flu. Run for my life!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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