so that wasnt chicken after all
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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