Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
