At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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