God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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