Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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