NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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