Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
