Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
