Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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