just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
