I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
