he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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