Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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