I wish I only lived at night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
