i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
