the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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